Little Brother Rant

Zach (to mother and father): I have a question for you, do you and mom - would you consider yourself green environmental activists?


Dad: Well not how most people define it.

Zach: Do you consider yourself extreme penny pinchers?


Mom: No

Zach: Then why on earth do you buy this crappy single ply toilet paper. It is like wiping your butt with sand paper. You might as well use wrapping paper. I could steal this from a public restroom. I wouldn't wipe my dog's ass with that, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Just get decent toilet paper. I mean, why get toilet paper at all, why not just use your fingers.

Mom: What should I get?

Zach: Charmin, it is like wiping your butt with a pillow.

Dad: I'm sorry Zach, I don't consider wiping my ass to be an experience. I'm just sitting on the bowl and getting off as soon as possible.